Yayy I'm a cripple.


Yep, I'm a crip. xD I broke my collarbone, I twisted my ankle, I sprained my foot, and I'm covered in scrapes from head to toe. xDD

Yeah, yesterday I was running down a hill at school and I tripped at the bottom, flipped, landed on my shoulder, and went skidding across the pavement.

And then I went into shock. Three different times. And the teachers still wouldn't let me call my mom, and they got mad at me when I didn't participate in 'spirit day' at school (basically being outside and playing games and stuff.) I was like 'uhh I can't walk and my collarbone feels like death so I can't move my arm or my head' and they were like 'hmm attitude, missy!'


srsly. wtf.

Well anyway.

OH GUESS WHAT.

So we were totally out of money and groceries so we had no food and we were like 'uh oh we can't get to the foodbank until tuesday' but then Sam and her mom came and put an anonymous card in our mailbox with $200 in giftcards to all the grocery stores (like okay there were 2 cards with $100 each and they worked at almost any grocery store in Canada pretty much) and then $150 cash. And my mom doesn't know it was them, I'm the only one who knows, but she cried with happiness, and relief that we were saved from idk the poor house or something lol and she was so so happy it was adorable. So I thanked Sam and she feels really good and it's all wonderful. I have amazing (rich) friends :*

OW man typing with a broken collarbone kind of hurts. xD

Now for something completely diffrent!!!!!:
A quiz. Stolen from Jazzeh.

YOU:

How old are you?
Heart Shaped Gun
[Ummm old enough to play with guns? =/]

How is your day going?
Nature Boy
[Naturally… and manly?]

What is your hometown like?
Boston
[lol! That worked out well xD So apparently it’s like Boston. (not rly but mkay)]

What is your home life like?
Feel Fine
[It’s alright, apparently.]

What is your favorite food?
More Than a Love Song
[Umm… I don’t even know.]

What do you think of baseball?
Give It All
[Uhh. I give it all up or something? lol I have noo idea.]

How would you describe your parents?
Bullets
[So much for my home life being ‘fine’. srsly. lolwut]

What do your teachers think of you?
C-C-C-Cinnamon Lips
[o-o I kiss my teachers for better marks??]

What is your main goal in life?
Camisado
[Ummmm. I have nooo idea.]

How will you achieve this goal?
I’m With You
[By following people. ?]

How will you die?
Across The Universe
[I will be flying through space, when…]

What will people say at your funeral?
Goodbye My Lover
[Aww I feel loved. :*]

YOUR FRIENDS:

What's the best things to do with your friends?
Midwest Skies and Sleepless Mondays
[Umm travel, apparently? ]

What do you think of your friends?
How You Remind Me
[People remind me of others?]

What do other people think of your friends?
Lonely Day
[That they’re lonely?]

What do your friends think of you?
California’s Burning
[They think I’m a pyro??]

How would you describe your best friend?
Superman
[Self-explanatory, lol!]

How would you describe the person you got this from?
I Should Tell You
[Umm I should tell them more?]

YOUR DREAM SPOUSE:

What would your first date be like?
Just Hold Me
[Awwwww!!! ]

What song would be played at the wedding?
Welcome To The Black Parade
[o-o]

What would you talk about on your wedding night?
Build God, Then We’ll Talk
[He finds out I’m an atheist and stops talking to me?]

What would your fights be like?
Hotel Roosevelt
[Ummm we would get so mad I would kick him out and make him stay in a hotel? Or vice versa?]

What is one difference between the two of you?
Found My Place
[One of us feels lost, the other feels at home?]

What is one similarity between the two of you?
Empty Days
[We’re easily bored.]

What would your children be like?
Angels
[ THAT WAS LUCKY]

How would s/he die?
Strawberry Fields Forever
[He’s allergic to strawberries!? In a strawberry field!? WHAT!?!?]

What would you say at his/her funeral?
I Write Sins Not Tragedies
[…?]

COMPLETE THE SENTENCE:

I'm feeling:
My Immortal
[Immortal?]

I hate:
Sunday Best
[Dressing up]

I love:
Mad World
[Umm the world? Which is mad?]

I wonder about:
Miss You Love
[What it’s like to miss somebody? ]

I'm eating:
Finale B
[My final meal??]

I think:
Only One
[thought at a time? I suck at multi-tasking, apparently.]

I will title this as:
Coffee and Cigarettes
[Ooo fun. ]
WHAT YOU THINK (answer these yourself):

What do you think of this survey?
Um it made for some smiles, I guess.

Who else do you want to do this survey?
People who want to.

Tammy moved in with us last night, but she wants her independence so badly, she'll move out as soon as she can. Her cancer is definitely incurable. They're going to put her through chemo anyway, just to prolong her life, but she still won't be around forever. It has gone from just her throat to her arm, too. But there are donations flowing in to her, she's getting thousands of dollars in donations, and clothes and everything. One company cleaned her old apartment for her, at a loss of thousands of dollars to their company. Their generosity is amazing... We're so grateful, it would have destroyed her having to see her father's blood in the carpet and all that, and get it cleaned herself. Sleep Country Canada donated a mattress and box spring to her (her bed was destroyed... that's where they found the body.) which was very generous of them. Individuals are giving so much... it's truly inspiring. The media is starting to try to find her now, though, which is making us all a little nervous.

But it's all good. I'm feeling a lot better lately. That black cloud that was following me around seems to be getting a little lighter, a little brighter, a little smaller. I really need to get out of the house, or I'll lose my mind, but I've got chores and homework to do that would leave me with no time to get out by the end of the day, and I've got nobody to chill with. I have no idea what to do. But seriously, if I have to stay within these walls for much longer, I might snap.

I think I'll go shower now, or maybe continue my search for somethingg to do, somewhere to go.

I love you all. (I hope you know that. I hope you believe it, too, because it's incredibly true. Maybe a little sad, on my part, but I'd rather love some internet strangers than love nobody at all.)

Peace,
Kinn. ♥

Everything is blah.

I went to Wonderland yesterday. It was fun.

I got a henna tattoo on my wrist of a bat for batman. It's cool.

I gave Tammy a pedicure today. She is nice.

People complimented me a lot. That was nice.

I'm bringing in normal water for a project tomorrow and saying it is holy water. It will be funny.

I am listening to music. I like music.

I am also watching Friends. It's a good show.

I had supper. It tasted good.

I have good friends, and we ask each other the hard questions (some). That's nice.

Everything is fine. Hooray.

I wonder how many pills it would take to kill me.

~Kinn

ANOREXIA
[x] you have dry skin
[/] you eat 1 meal
[x] you're very weak
[x] you hate yourself
[\] you starve yourself
[x] you have low self esteem
[ ] you use laxatives
[x] you need to be more skinny
[x] people always say you're skinny, but you think you're fat
[/] people think you are too skinny
Total: 7.5 out of 10

ADHD (ATTENTION DEFICIT/HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER)
[x] your mind is all over the place
[x] you are hyper most of the time
[x] you barely pay attention to anything
[x] you can't cooperate well
[x] you talk all the time
[x] you need attention 24/7
Total: 6 out of 6

BIPOLAR DISORDER
[x] you can act wild at times then the next day you are depressed.
[x] you are very irritable
[x] you are antisocial
[ ] you have very high self esteem sometimes
[ ] you are abusing alcohol, drugs, or sex
[x] you have thought of/attempted suicide
Total: 4 out of 6

BULIMIA NERVOSA
[ ] you throw up all of your food.
[ ] you throw it up even when you don't feel sick.
[x] you have no control over how you eat.
[ ] you use laxatives.
[x] you have overly exercised to where you almost fainted/passed out.
[x] you always say you are fat, when you aren't.
[/] people think you're way too skinny
Total: 3.5 out of 7

CONDUCT DISORDER
[ ] you are a bully.
[ ] you threaten other people.
[ ] you often find yourself in fights.
[ ] you have used a weapon that could cause injury to others.
[ ] you are cruel to humans and/or animals.
[ ] you have raped/molested someone. (I hate them.)
[ ] you destroy property on purpose
[ ] you always lie.
[ ] you stay out all night.
[ ] you have ran away from home.
Total: 0 out of 10

DEPRESSION
[x] You are always sad.
[x] You find no hope in your future.
[x] You find no longer excitement over the activities you used to love.
[x] you always find yourself in bed/around the house all day.
[x] You have low self esteem.
[x] everything bad happens is always your fault
[x] you always seem to be weak or have physical features hurt.
[/] You are failing school.
[x] You have thought of/attempted suicide.
[ ] you have ran away from home.
[x] Hope is no longer there for you.
Total: 9.5 out of 11

OCD (OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER)
[x] You have daily rituals.
[x] you have disturbing thoughts or thoughts you hate.
[x] you have to do a certain thing until it feels right.
[x] you have to keep things in a certain order.
[x] you have harmed yourself.
[ ] you are afraid you will get any kind of germs.
[x] you have to check some stuff over again
Total: 6 out of 7

PTSD (POST-TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER)
[ ] you repeatedly have flashbacks of horrible moments/memories in your life.
[x] you repeatedly have dreams of horrible moments/memories in your life.
[ ] you sometimes think the event will happen again.
[x] you can be/are anti-social.
[x] you have lost interest in the things you used to love.
[x] You have not had a lot of sleep lately
[ ] you worry about dying at a early age or dying at all.
[ ] you can have angry outbursts.
[/] You act younger than your age.
Total: 4.5 out of 9

SCHIZOPHRENIA
[ ] you often have hallucinations
[x] you have strange, unusual dreams or thoughts.
[x] you can be confused about reality and fantasy.
[x] you think people are always staring or talking about you.
[x] you have extreme anxiety or fearfulness.
[x] you have difficulty with relationships with family, friends, and opposite sex.
[x] you do not take care of your hygiene like you should.
[x] you are very shy.
[x] you often talk to yourself.
Total: 8 out of 9



Well haha apparently I have /issues/.
Obviously these are not accurate tests BUT STILLLL. xD

Anyway, so today was better. I can talk about it now, they've released everything to the press.

So I've told you a bit about Tammy. Not much, but a bit.
She's my best friend/adopted sister/favourite person haha. I love her.

She's 25 or so. She's facing her third round of cancer. It's potentially terminal. Anyway, right now she's in the hospital, and they're treating an absess which might be her throat cancer showing up in another area. Her father dropped her off at the hospital, and kept her cell phone, promising to call her often. (He was visiting from Nova Scotia to take care of her during this difficult time in her life.) He drove back to her apartment (in a rental car), where he was staying. Two days later, she still had not heard from him. Her phone was off. She was especially worried because she had called her apartment two days earlier at about 1:30 in the morning and her BROTHER had answered. (You should know that her brother is a drug addicted homeless man whose life has totally fallen apart. In the past few months he has been divorced, been kicked out onto the streets, continued to struggle with his addictions, attempted suicide more than once, etc. He'd been staying with Tammy occassionally, but he is very manipulative, etc.) Anyway, she called my mom (her surrogate mom). My mom called in a missing person's report to the police. The next morning, early, we heard back. The police had gone to the apartment and found her father, dead. He died from blunt force trauma to the head. We are certain it was Jason (Tammy's brother. In fact, the victim's son.) Jason has been arrested. He is in custody, being charged with second degree murder.

So the entire family is in chaos. Tammy's mom flew down from Nova Scotia, and she is constantly being visited in the hospital, and her support group is totally there for her. We are hugging her and on sunday I'm going over to paint her toes. She's being so strong, she's wonderful.

Anyway, if you could think good thoughts for Tammy, or pray for her if you're religious, we'd appreciate it a lot. She's having a really tough time, as are we all.

Thanks guys!

But anyway tomorrow I get to go to Canada's Wonderland and today I got to hang out with Tammy and go to the Women's Conference which is always fun, so I'm doing pretty well right now.

This entry is ridiculously long so I'm going to go.
Love you all!
Peace,
Kinn.